| Government Alias: | Mr. Burlap Buttons |
| Unofficial Name: | BAW |
| Birthplace: | England (of course he's british) |
| Height: | eight inches |
| Weight: | half a pound |
| Skin Color: | brown |
| Eye Color: | black |
| Fart Velocity: | sludgy |
| Phlegm Consistency: | swampy |
| Strengths: | EVERYTHING |
| Weaknesses: | none |
| Favorite Food: | ham sandwich |
